Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
