this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
