im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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