my vag is so smooth its legendary
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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