In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
even my farts smell like vagina
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
