A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize