we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
