So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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