I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
