Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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