Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
