He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
