question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
