i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize