We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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