Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
