the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
