Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He better not be in your backpack
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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