operation harelip BJ is a go
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
