At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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