So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
