I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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