You smell like stripper and shame
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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