Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He felt like a one man threesome
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize