y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
