sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
