i jhust puked up my retainher.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
