I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
