when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think your dad took our porno
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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