I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
