Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
