is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
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That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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