I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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