I want to make a zoo with you.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
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I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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