Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
