apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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