come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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