well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
two words...techno handjob
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
