i would punch a child for taco bell
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
