Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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