okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
