He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
