my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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