I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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