I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
