Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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