Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
