Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
