Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
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Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
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In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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