So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
