I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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