the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
