ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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