Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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