Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
