Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
