But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
