clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How external is "for external use only"?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
