Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
