I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
